PARODIES: 11

FROGGY SHOE

Way back when I was tacked on to the horse's hoof, I worked as part of a four-man team

We carried that horse everywhere, day and night, far and wide, o're field and stream

We carried him all summer time and in the winter too

And the only only thing that I never should have done was step in the horse's soggy, soggy poo

I got that tired of always being walked on, says I to me mates

But I spoke too soon and came the day to pay the farrier's rates

They yanked me off and without a care, in the trash pile they threw

But the only thing I never did wrong was to end up in the sticky, sticky glue

Well, I didn't think much of that old pail of shoes and nails

With debris and rust galore and every piece of scrap that fails

Then one day, some friends and I were selected from the slew

Welded together and primed against the weather, to be the Froggy, Froggy shoe

In the garden, along the walk, we stand guard against the foe

We see all, hear all and say nothing, but what it is we know

Heel and toe, we dance no jig, surveying all that we view

Glad to be loosed and free, standing guard in the yard of the Froggy, Froggy shoe

DUDES AND GUNSELS SURROUND ME

(Subversion of "Tumblin' Tumbleweeds)

(with thanks to Bob Nolan)

I'm a modern cowboy

Wishing all day long

Dudes and gunsels surround me

Sing their phoney song

Nights in a honky tonk saloon

Wish they'd go back to Karaoke soon

Chorus:

See them riding along

Singing a Garth Brooks song

Going where they don't belong

Past saguaro, pinion and mountain streams

Jobs for the weak, I'm afraid

Nowhere to go but the grave

Just what Satan has bade

Past the pricklies, pine nuts and hills and creeks

I know when they are done

A new thrill they'll find with a gun

I'll keep out of their way

Try to live another day

Out on the range I should stay

Past saguaro, pinion and mountain streams

Chorus:

See them riding along

Singing a Garth Brooks song

Going where they don't belong

Past saguaro, pinion and mountain streams

Jobs for the weak, I'm afraid

Nowhere to go but the grave

Just what Satan has bade

Past the pricklies, pine nuts and hills and creeks

I know when they are done

A new thrill they'll find with a gun

I'll keep out of their way

Try to live another day

Out on the range I should stay

Past saguaro, pinion and mountain streams

DON KING - WILD HAIR
(Wild Thing /Troggs Parody)

Don King, you make my head sting
You make everything greasy, Don King
Don King, I think you're crazy
But I don't know for sure
Come on now, be alright
Stand up straight
Wild hair, you may never care
You make every hair greasy
Wild hair

Wild hair, I think you smooth it
But I don't know for sure
Come on now, do it right
Stand up tall
Don King, you make the hair spike
You make every hair jello'd, Wild Hair
C'mon, c'mon Don King
Check it, check it, Don King

ONTARIO LAKE AMERICAN LAKE

You take a bus marked: Tourist One
And you keep on ridin' till you're out of the city
'Cause the air is foul with political growls
And the agendas are shitty
And you'll leave Donald behind (Donald's Big Behind)
Oh, that burger-lovin' dictator

Just take a left at the bridge
When you reach Buffalo Ridge
And in an hour, you're there

Ontario Lake is a scene
You should make before it's gone
Just keep it in mind if you're lookin' to find
A big lake that you can pawn
Well, you can change the name, play the political game
Piss off the Canadians (the Americans too)
Or just call the whole thing off, 'cause you're the big, bad boss
At Ontario Lake, you'll be able to make
Like the politicians do

Everybody go
Ontario Lake is a scene
You should make before it's gone
Just keep it in mind if you're lookin' to find
A big lake that you can pawn
Or you can change all the signs (by official design)
At American Lake you'll be able to fake
You know what you do (you do)

Everybody go
American Lake is a scene
You should make before it's gone
Just keep it in mind if you're lookin' to find
A big lake that you can pawn
Before it's Trump's swimmin' pool, (renamed by a fool)
You'll have burgers and fries
And be a bigger size before he's done
At American Lake, he'll take your fun

Better yet, just make a big bet
Everybody stay, let Trump go
He can paint it blue, put his name on it too
It's American Lake on the Southern side
But Lake Ontario above the Canadian line
The stroke of a pen is all it takes these days
To get in the way of the U.S.A.
And the flag we wave.

PENNY LANE Parody

Penny Pain there is a congress showing epitaphs

Of every cent it's ever seen the measure of growth

And all the people who save, you know

Well, now, there they go

In the Congress is a measure with a deadly blow

And the children laugh at Donny behind his back

And the penny never lives again in sunshine or rain

Very strange

Penny Pain is in my ears and in my eyes

Dead beneath blue suburban skies

It sits and meanwhile again

Penny Pain, there is a buyer with a credit card

And in his pocket is a portrait of the King

His devalued penny is a thing

It's a worthless thing

Donny King is in my face and in my life

And about his immigrant wife

In the country meanwhile

The worthless Lincolns gather dust in a dresser drawer

A pretty clerk is making change from a tray

And though she feels she should have a weigh

She has no say ....anyway

Penny Pain the Congress passed another bluster bill

We see you in the dresser drawer writhing in pain

And the president rushes in with the signing pen

Very strange

Penny Pain is in my ears and in my eyes

Dead beneath blue suburban skies

It sits and meanwhile again

Penny Pain is in my ears and in my eyes

Dead beneath blue suburban skies

It sits and meanwhile again

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