PARODIES: 10

COOL WATER (PARODY)

All day I've faced the bovine waste

And now I haste for water, cool water

It feels so good just like it should

As it rushes past my toes

A trout swims by, I call him Dan

Around my legs and away he goes

Down the way, just above the dam

With rod in hand, stands the fisherman

Casting flies upon the water

It's early dawn, no time to spawn

Just carry on, to safer water

Cool, clear water.

Keep a movin', Dan, don't you let him catch you, Dan

He's no friend, he's a fisherman

And he'll reach his hand down in the water

Dan, don't forget that's a great big net

And he's gotta win his bet

So he's waitin' there to catch you yet

In the cool, clear water

Old Dan and I, we said goodbye

Our souls fly high but we remember the water

Cool, clear water

Water

The fly was mistook, Dan took the hook

Now Dan's in the pan, the fisherman is the cook

Beside the water, cool, clear water

I'm a-movin' now, with the cows, headed for the slaughter

I'll be meat on the hook, ready to cook

Just like Dan in the water, cool, clear water

Old Dan and I, we said goodbye

Our souls fly high but we remember the water

Cool, clear water

Water

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

LOOSE WHEEL

(Lucille)

[A]

This old truck on the highway headed for the feed store

[E7]

In the fast lane I heard my tire sing

[Bm] [E7]

I thought it was sour so I listened closer

[B] [E7] [A]

I drove straight and right down the lane

When the bumps finally hit her, my tire was a quitter

[A7] [D]

And I finally heard those radial screams

[E7]

I'm forever poor broke and that ain't no bad joke

[A]

Not a cent in my poke for a bad machine

[A]

In the windshield I saw it and I closely watched it

[E7]

I thought how it looked out of place

[Bm] [E7]

It spun off it's lug bolts and went down the highway

[Bm] [E7] [A]

Faster than I could keep pace

It's tread was all shredded, it looked like a freak show

[A7] [D]

For a minute I thought I was dead

[E7]

Then I started shaking, my check book was breaking

[A]

I rolled down the window and said:

[A] [D]

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel

[A]

With four hungry critters this just ain't ideal

[D]

I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times

[A]

But this time the banker won't deal

[E7] [A]

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.

After she left me, I pulled off the highway

I thought how she made me hike

From the noise of the traffic

It looked really drastic

And I left home without my bike

She was expensive so I got defensive

I must have looked out of my mind

I couldn't hold back, I wished I was horseback

I'm without a spare this time

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel

With four hungry critters this just ain't ideal

I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times

But this time the banker won't deal

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel

With four hungry critters this just ain't ideal

I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times

But this time the banker won't deal

You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.

_____________________________

True story: https://youtu.be/vKm9nyDXyS0?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

BETTER SIGNS

I read where the highway signs were going away

You know, the ones that have something humorous to say

I thought that would be a huge mistake

The guy who made that decision must be a flake

The problem is, some of the message writers lack experience

And the messages may be a bit nefarious

So maybe they should look at a better class of writers

What if some of these folks were the message providers?

_by Paul Simon_

Slow down, you drive too fast

You got to make the journey last

Just cruisin' down the Interstate

Looking for fun and feeling groovy

Ba da-da da-da da-da, feeling groovy

_by The Eagles_

Take it easy, take it easy

Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy

Slow it down while you still can

Don't even try to beat the man

Just find a place to make your stand

And take it easy

_by Alabama_

No need to hurry to get things done

Don't you rush and rush until life's no fun

Unless all you really want to do is die

No need to hurry when you don't know why

Don't know why you have to drive so fast

Your car has nothing to prove

It's not new

But it'll sure do it's best to kill you

_by Larry Williams_

Come on pretty baby won't you ride with me

Come on pretty baby won't you drive with me

Come on pretty baby give me one more chance

Try to save our road dance

- Slow down -

Baby now you're drivin' way too fast

You gotta gimme little listen

Gimme a little listen - Ow!

If you want our ride to last

_by the Beatles_

Doesn't have to drive so fast

Knows not if his trip will last

Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Motorman please listen

You don't know what you're missin'

Motorman, the road is at your command.

Drives as blind as if he was

He's the kind that drives because

Motorman, can you see me at all

Motorman don't scurry

Take your time, don't hurry

Leave sooner, stay out of the promised land.

_by Willie Nelson_

On the road again

Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway

Like there is no end

Insisting the speed limits go away

And by the way

On the road again

I'll never be able to get on the road again

The life I love has come to a very quick end

'Cause I went speeding down the road again

_by Lindsey Buckingham_

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Driving too fast ain't too slick

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

I found out long ago

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Driving to fast is a dangerous road

(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

_by Roger Miller_

Trailer's with big dents

Semi trucks with no contents

No cares, no rush, no offense

Just puffin' away on my cigarettes

Ah, but, two loads, loaded to haul

Pullin' it slowly out of the stall

I'm a man in no hurry, with no worry

King of the road

...

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

JINGLEBOBS

Riding through the brush, on a high-plains plateau

Thinkin' as he rides; Oh, how the ride is slow.

Rowels on spurs ring, such a real delight

Chiming in with the prairie birds, singing all the day and night

(Chorus) Jinglebobs, jinglebobs, jingle all the day

A cowboy's day, with little pay. Listen to the horse's neigh

Jinglebobs, jinglebobs, jingle all the day

A prairie song with voices strong. Cowboy lookin' for the stray

A couple days ago, I thought I saw a sign

A coyote trail headed for the county line

I followed it on down and there it took a turn

It was the day this cowboy's pay was really, really earned

(Chorus)

A mama cow with her calf, stuck right in the mud

A remnant of yesterday's one-hundred year flood

My horse was big and strong. My rope was in a loop

I roped that cow real neat and drug her through the soup

(Chorus)

A cow that's saved, is much grace, on a cattle spread

A cowboy's word to save the herd is what the rider said

Now everything's alright. The cows are home again

And that's the way it is, on our ranch, outside of old Cheyenne

(Chorus)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

HOMESICK BLUES REVISITED

~With thanks to Gary P. Nunn

Oh, when you're stuck in the East

And you can't see the beast

In Congress you're a porker

Even Washington has gone amok

And lost all it's senses

Now I know why

And I'll substantiate the rumor that the political fervour

Is hotter than the Burning Man

Well, you can count your votes and get out your jokes

'Cause I'll be quittin' here just as fast as can

[Chorus]

I wanna go home where the buffalo roam

Good cowboy steaks and Bar-B-Que at U-Double-U

The hardest workin' and the smartest men and women you ever knew

Well, it's and old song here and I swear

I wish they'd get a move on

And where in the world, is that congressman

Who promised he would vote on my next bill

And of the whole damned bunch, the only ones I trust

Are the ghosts of the years before

My mind keeps hoping and my heart keeps longin'

To roam where the buffalo go

[Chorus]

Well, I concluded that, I'll get no more fat

Or Pork Barrel consideration

'Cause when a good Congresswoman takes her chances

Friends will abandon, that's for sure

And them lyin' guys, they were eyein' the prize

Some of us patriots still hold dear

And they said, you're outta here

Whenever you speak your mind

You never treat the party very kind

Repeat chorus 'til the cows come home

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

MIDNIGHT OBSESSIONS
(PARODY)

The sound of my ranting
Please tell me that you hear
Keybord clicks on Social page
It brings out a need in me that nobody hears except...

In my midnight obsessions
When I'm telling the world that I'm special
In my midnight obsessions
When I say all the things that I want to
It's my truth

But a little trouble with terrorist Iran
Makes me understand
I can do what I want to, do what I want to
You're wasting my time

Falling asleep in the daytime
My image on my mind
Hanging my picture everywhere
My image will not be so hard to find, but

In my midnight obsessions
When I'm telling the world that I'm special
In my midnight obsessions
When I say all the things that I want to
It's my truth

In my midnight obsessions
When I say all the things that I want to
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

HE'LL HAVE TO GO

[Parody - Jim Reeves, 1959]

Hold your blind trust a little closer to the bone.

Don't pretend you understand, you're not alone.

I'll tell the news to report the truth, you know.

We'll just watch and wait, and wish and hope, he'll have to go

Listen to me, tell me truly, do you really know?

Or are you blinded, by the fools in the show?

Life's unkind, I've made up my mind, it's too damned slow.

Let's get together and tell the man, he'll have to go.

We can't live another day like this,

While he corrupts the whole world.

Are you with me, answer yes or no.

We'll just tell him, he'll have to go.

Let's kick the old fool a lot farther off the throne,

And tell his friends, their coup was overthrown.

Let's get back to the way we've always known,

And tell the world, he'll have to go.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

MONDAY, MONDAY (Parody)

Monday, Monday
So bad for me
Monday mornin'
Another workday for me
But Monday mornin'
Monday mornin' with no clarity
Without my morning cup'a tea,
You won't get much from me

Monday, Monday
I don't like that day
Monday, Monday
Sometimes I just can't stand that day
But Monday mornin'
You gave me no warning of what was to be
Oh, Monday, Monday
How could you do that to me?

Every other day (every other day)
Every other day
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes (but whenever Monday comes)
But whenever Monday comes
I'll be brewin' my tea all of the time

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

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