COOL WATER (PARODY)
All day I've faced the bovine waste
And now I haste for water, cool water
It feels so good just like it should
As it rushes past my toes
A trout swims by, I call him Dan
Around my legs and away he goes
Down the way, just above the dam
With rod in hand, stands the fisherman
Casting flies upon the water
It's early dawn, no time to spawn
Just carry on, to safer water
Cool, clear water.
Keep a movin', Dan, don't you let him catch you, Dan
He's no friend, he's a fisherman
And he'll reach his hand down in the water
Dan, don't forget that's a great big net
And he's gotta win his bet
So he's waitin' there to catch you yet
In the cool, clear water
Old Dan and I, we said goodbye
Our souls fly high but we remember the water
Cool, clear water
Water
The fly was mistook, Dan took the hook
Now Dan's in the pan, the fisherman is the cook
Beside the water, cool, clear water
I'm a-movin' now, with the cows, headed for the slaughter
I'll be meat on the hook, ready to cook
Just like Dan in the water, cool, clear water
Old Dan and I, we said goodbye
Our souls fly high but we remember the water
Cool, clear water
Water
© 2024 Brian McNeal
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LOOSE WHEEL
(Lucille)
[A]
This old truck on the highway headed for the feed store
[E7]
In the fast lane I heard my tire sing
[Bm] [E7]
I thought it was sour so I listened closer
[B] [E7] [A]
I drove straight and right down the lane
When the bumps finally hit her, my tire was a quitter
[A7] [D]
And I finally heard those radial screams
(Lucille)
[A]
This old truck on the highway headed for the feed store
[E7]
In the fast lane I heard my tire sing
[Bm] [E7]
I thought it was sour so I listened closer
[B] [E7] [A]
I drove straight and right down the lane
When the bumps finally hit her, my tire was a quitter
[A7] [D]
And I finally heard those radial screams
[E7]
I'm forever poor broke and that ain't no bad joke
[A]
Not a cent in my poke for a bad machine
[A]
In the windshield I saw it and I closely watched it
[E7]
I thought how it looked out of place
[Bm] [E7]
It spun off it's lug bolts and went down the highway
[Bm] [E7] [A]
Faster than I could keep pace
It's tread was all shredded, it looked like a freak show
[A7] [D]
For a minute I thought I was dead
[E7]
Then I started shaking, my check book was breaking
[A]
I rolled down the window and said:
[A] [D]
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel
[A]
With four hungry critters this just ain't ideal
[D]
I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times
[A]
But this time the banker won't deal
[E7] [A]
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.
After she left me, I pulled off the highway
I thought how she made me hike
From the noise of the traffic
It looked really drastic
And I left home without my bike
She was expensive so I got defensive
I must have looked out of my mind
I couldn't hold back, I wished I was horseback
I'm without a spare this time
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel
With four hungry critters this just ain't ideal
I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times
But this time the banker won't deal
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel
With four hungry critters this just ain't ideal
I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times
But this time the banker won't deal
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.
_____________________________
True story: https://youtu.be/vKm9nyDXyS0?
I'm forever poor broke and that ain't no bad joke
[A]
Not a cent in my poke for a bad machine
[A]
In the windshield I saw it and I closely watched it
[E7]
I thought how it looked out of place
[Bm] [E7]
It spun off it's lug bolts and went down the highway
[Bm] [E7] [A]
Faster than I could keep pace
It's tread was all shredded, it looked like a freak show
[A7] [D]
For a minute I thought I was dead
[E7]
Then I started shaking, my check book was breaking
[A]
I rolled down the window and said:
[A] [D]
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel
[A]
With four hungry critters this just ain't ideal
[D]
I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times
[A]
But this time the banker won't deal
[E7] [A]
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.
After she left me, I pulled off the highway
I thought how she made me hike
From the noise of the traffic
It looked really drastic
And I left home without my bike
She was expensive so I got defensive
I must have looked out of my mind
I couldn't hold back, I wished I was horseback
I'm without a spare this time
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel
With four hungry critters this just ain't ideal
I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times
But this time the banker won't deal
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel
With four hungry critters this just ain't ideal
I've had some bad times, lived through some sad times
But this time the banker won't deal
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel.
_____________________________
True story: https://youtu.be/vKm9nyDXyS0?
© 2024 Brian McNeal
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
BETTER SIGNS
I read where the highway signs were going away
You know, the ones that have something humorous to say
I thought that would be a huge mistake
The guy who made that decision must be a flake
The problem is, some of the message writers lack experience
And the messages may be a bit nefarious
So maybe they should look at a better class of writers
What if some of these folks were the message providers?
_by Paul Simon_
Slow down, you drive too fast
You got to make the journey last
Just cruisin' down the Interstate
Looking for fun and feeling groovy
Ba da-da da-da da-da, feeling groovy
_by The Eagles_
Take it easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy
Slow it down while you still can
Don't even try to beat the man
Just find a place to make your stand
And take it easy
_by Alabama_
No need to hurry to get things done
Don't you rush and rush until life's no fun
Unless all you really want to do is die
No need to hurry when you don't know why
Don't know why you have to drive so fast
Your car has nothing to prove
It's not new
But it'll sure do it's best to kill you
_by Larry Williams_
Come on pretty baby won't you ride with me
Come on pretty baby won't you drive with me
Come on pretty baby give me one more chance
Try to save our road dance
- Slow down -
Baby now you're drivin' way too fast
You gotta gimme little listen
Gimme a little listen - Ow!
If you want our ride to last
_by the Beatles_
Doesn't have to drive so fast
Knows not if his trip will last
Isn't he a bit like you and me?
Motorman please listen
You don't know what you're missin'
Motorman, the road is at your command.
Drives as blind as if he was
He's the kind that drives because
Motorman, can you see me at all
Motorman don't scurry
Take your time, don't hurry
Leave sooner, stay out of the promised land.
_by Willie Nelson_
On the road again
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway
Like there is no end
Insisting the speed limits go away
And by the way
On the road again
I'll never be able to get on the road again
The life I love has come to a very quick end
'Cause I went speeding down the road again
_by Lindsey Buckingham_
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Driving too fast ain't too slick
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I found out long ago
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Driving to fast is a dangerous road
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
_by Roger Miller_
Trailer's with big dents
Semi trucks with no contents
No cares, no rush, no offense
Just puffin' away on my cigarettes
Ah, but, two loads, loaded to haul
Pullin' it slowly out of the stall
I'm a man in no hurry, with no worry
King of the road
...
© 2024 Brian McNeal
I read where the highway signs were going away
You know, the ones that have something humorous to say
I thought that would be a huge mistake
The guy who made that decision must be a flake
The problem is, some of the message writers lack experience
And the messages may be a bit nefarious
So maybe they should look at a better class of writers
What if some of these folks were the message providers?
_by Paul Simon_
Slow down, you drive too fast
You got to make the journey last
Just cruisin' down the Interstate
Looking for fun and feeling groovy
Ba da-da da-da da-da, feeling groovy
_by The Eagles_
Take it easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy
Slow it down while you still can
Don't even try to beat the man
Just find a place to make your stand
And take it easy
_by Alabama_
No need to hurry to get things done
Don't you rush and rush until life's no fun
Unless all you really want to do is die
No need to hurry when you don't know why
Don't know why you have to drive so fast
Your car has nothing to prove
It's not new
But it'll sure do it's best to kill you
_by Larry Williams_
Come on pretty baby won't you ride with me
Come on pretty baby won't you drive with me
Come on pretty baby give me one more chance
Try to save our road dance
- Slow down -
Baby now you're drivin' way too fast
You gotta gimme little listen
Gimme a little listen - Ow!
If you want our ride to last
_by the Beatles_
Doesn't have to drive so fast
Knows not if his trip will last
Isn't he a bit like you and me?
Motorman please listen
You don't know what you're missin'
Motorman, the road is at your command.
Drives as blind as if he was
He's the kind that drives because
Motorman, can you see me at all
Motorman don't scurry
Take your time, don't hurry
Leave sooner, stay out of the promised land.
_by Willie Nelson_
On the road again
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway
Like there is no end
Insisting the speed limits go away
And by the way
On the road again
I'll never be able to get on the road again
The life I love has come to a very quick end
'Cause I went speeding down the road again
_by Lindsey Buckingham_
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Driving too fast ain't too slick
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
I found out long ago
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Driving to fast is a dangerous road
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
_by Roger Miller_
Trailer's with big dents
Semi trucks with no contents
No cares, no rush, no offense
Just puffin' away on my cigarettes
Ah, but, two loads, loaded to haul
Pullin' it slowly out of the stall
I'm a man in no hurry, with no worry
King of the road
...
© 2024 Brian McNeal
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
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